New Vogue Patterns: Summer 2012

The new Vogue's are here! Now I have more patterns than I will be able to make in a lifetime, but I'm a greedy greedy sewist and want more.You know SABLE (stash accumulation beyond life expectancy)? I suffer from PABLE.

Let's start with the good.

Vogue 1310

Yes, yes, a thousand times yes!!! Will I wear this full outfit? No, no, a thousand times no. Not because I don't think its chic as hell, I just don't have anything to wear it to. The cut of the top is gorgeous and its BIAS cut! So is the skirt. I need a chic as hell event.

Side note: This is a pretty close rip-off of the style of a Jill Sander design by the future head of Christian Dior, Raf Simons. 

Wanna look like Bosworth or the supreme dresser Tilda Swinton? Now you can! 1310 is easily my favorite look of this release even if I only use it for the supremely simple and perfect top.

Vogue 8805

Color blocked, neon, AND different cuts for bust size?! Those sleeves look a little low, but that can be fixed and you have to make sure that its got some nip at the waist, but I love this one too. Totally on trend, but they are trends that have been out there for a while so sew quick, before they're gone! Unless you don't care about trends and just like it, then sew at your leisure and enjoy it for years. Its probably the better path anyway. Also, think about the use of lace or mesh for the top block. I am.

Vogue 8814

Bias cut and drop waist. Different bust sizes again? I love me a drop waist, the 20's had some fan-freakin-tabulous fashions. Different neckline and back variations, but I like this one best. Too bad I have nowhere to wear this to. Ahhhhhh..........

 Vogue 8804

First let's get something out of the way. 

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAH. WHY IS VOGUE TRYING TO SELL A CHANEL KNOCKOFF PATTERN USING MATCHING ITALIAN VESPA ACCESSORIES??!?!?! WHY THE BLUE AND RED AND WHY DOES IT APPEAR SHE'S WEAR A FULL BODY BLACK LEOTARD??!??!?! AND IF SHE REALLY WAS WEARING THAT HELMET, WHY DOES SHE HAVE WIND TUNNEL HAIR?!?! HAHAHAHAHAHAHA.

Good? Ok.

Hey, its another Chanel jacket. Someday I plan to make one. This is another option.

Vogue 8817

Plain top, might have some nice lines and panels. The option of a sheer back panel is interesting. Probably never going to worry myself with this one.

Also great for stepping up huge imaginary stairs.

Vogue 8815

Peplum is a another big trend that's coming up and this might be a flattering version of it. Good 'cake' pattern.

Now onto the ok patterns. Comme ci, comme ca.

 Vogue 1298

There's something going on on the front but its not clear in the line drawing or on the model due to the pattern. Vogue makes bad designs with their samples, at least their modeling is a little better this time around. Square necklines look like bibs to me. Back's ok.

Vogue 1300

Straight posing and a solid color. Hey, I can understand this pattern! Love a good ruffle, don't love a shapeless fit. We'll see.

Vogue 1302

I dare you to draw the lines of this without cheating. Typical Vogue pattern.

Vogue 1303

Someone catch her!!! Typical Vogue pattern.

Vogue 1305

Well that's a little different. Kinda like it, kinda wildly unflattering. Maybe if you couldn't see the center seam running down her body?

Vogue 1306

An assortment of t-shirts. Everyone needs t-shirts. Not sure how flattering though. This one looks like the model accidentally go the fabric stuck underneath her boobs. Embarassing!

Vogue 1308

Jumpsuits. If they look good on your, then more power to you babe. At least its not strapless.

 Vogue 8808

Ah, sporty and cute. Anything with a high neck like that now reminds me of Alexander McQueen.

 If you want to make a casual McQueen, this might be your ticket!

Finally, things I think are particularly hideous/hilarious.

Vogue 1299

I though we were over this style. Its not flattering. It makes your boobs look like a frown. Boobs should smile!

 Vogue 1301

Burqa sundress. Check out the line drawing for this, hilarious and horrifying. 

Vogue 1304

Tiffany, can I call you Tiffany? What are you doing with your hand? Also your dress is crazy unflattering and you have diaper-butt.

Vogue 8806

A hooded maxidress with a front zip!?! I was just saying that I needed one of these.

Vogue 8809

Quack. Enough said.

Ok, maybe I should explain myself. The back of that skirt looks butt feathers on a duck. She looks like a duck.

Vogue 8818

Dance to the music in your head, girlfriend!

 Vogue 8821

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAH.

HAHHAAHHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAAHHAAHAHHA.

Vogue 1297

Why is this reaching towards me? No, go away spectral demon, I will never wear you!

 Vogue 1307

Speechless.

Let's end with something chic as hell.

 Ah, that's better.

Independent Patterns: Jamie Christina

I ran across Jamie Christina patterns when I was looking for the perfect maxidress patten. We'll get to that later.

Sunny Day Dress

And alright pattern. Very good for beginners as it will look good in easy crisp cottons. 

Honey Girl

Shirring, I hate shirring. Down with all shirring. Nice if you like shirring. 

 Miz Mozelle

Lovely sundress, the piping adds a nice touch. Love the white and black version on the site.

Cupcake Apron

Retro apron, kill me now, I LOVE IT! This needs to be made in black and white polka dots with a giant white bow. Plus it has pockets, although I've never used my pockets while cooking. Has anyone actually used pockets white cooking?

Jamie Christina also makes the Palooza and Pretty Ditty aprons. Check those out if you need n+1 aprons.

 Hooded Scarf

The hooded scarf. I can't decide if this is genius or ridiculous. Good if its raining and your gorgeous wool coat doesn't have a hood cause it would have totally ruined the 60's vibe you were going for! Sorry, tangent. I like it in the darker blue on the website better, looks less like a pair of sweatsuit pants that you've wrapped around your head. 

 Dalliance Gloves

Chic as hell. And I love being able to sew gloves instead of knitting. Double pointed needles are evil. So is the magic loop (sorry Kelly!). BUT....

Fingerless gloves are the most impractical things on this green Earth. Any time you are going to wear gloves its because it is cold and you're going to want to keep those long, thin phalanges warm cause they are the first thing to go in a chilly wind.

Still, chic as hell. Maybe you can wear gloves underneath, that's practical, right?

 Bibury Capelet

First of all, love the name. Second of all, love me a good cape. Wonderfully impractical, would go well with the Dalliance gloves!

Now we get to the meat of the matter.

 Abbey Coat

This is (as far as I can tell) the most recent pattern to the J.C. line and you can tell. Its perfection. The flare at the bottom is crazy feminine and the collar is adorable. Want this in every color, want this color blocked. Want want wan.

Mission Maxi 

  Bow down all, this is the perfect maxidress. The big pattern companies can stop trying to make sad interpretations and the little pattern companies can focus on other things cause this is it. And the pattern includes how to make a simple racer-back shirt. All hail Jamie Christina.

Cake and frosting

Came across this blog post and I LOVE it because its exactly my problem. Way too much frosting, not enough cake. In other words, why do I sew things, and spend my money and time sewing things, that I will wear a couple of times (MAYBE!) and then sit in my closet for eternity? Its infuriating! I rarely wear high-waisted, brocade skirts, but that's the last thing I made. At least I decided not to make the brocade minidress cause that would get far less circulation than the skirt.

I'm about to leave on a 6 week trip, taking me to a mountaintop in Chile and then onto Los Angeles. Brocade skirts will not make the packing list for the one piece of luggage. Highly washable and interchangeable t-shirts and jeans will make the cut. This is why, back in January, when I was on another trip, this time to Austin, TX, and I wore my supernice, but very difficult to wash Anthropologie sweater to a BBQ place and then realized I couldn't wear it again on the trip cause it smelled like a smokehouse, that my resolution was to amass not only a streamlined, washable set of travel outfits, but to sew a streamlined, washable set of travel outfits. This requires lots and lots of cake.

My profession is not a frosting profession. The men wear cargo shorts and birkenstocks, the women wear jeans and T's. If I wear a skirt or a dress to work, I invariably get asked, "laundry day." And yes, a lot of the time it is in fact laundry day. But that's not how I want to present myself, I want a little bit of frosting, I want some fun. So I propose cake patterns with frosting fabrics or vice versa. For example, I think Sencha is a fairly cake pattern.

Sencha

but doll Sencha up in some neon yellow print and

Gorgeous Fabrics

magic!

Throw that on with some skinny jeans, nice sandals, and a bracelet and its remarkably appropriate for my job! And hey, its washable too. Its cake and just the right amount of frosting.

Vogue 1161

 

Frosting dress pattern, but in basic black or gray (washable!), it's got some cake too. An easy blazer hides the cutout back until its dessert time.

So that's my goal for the next many months. Make some cake, apply a little frosting. Unfortunately, I'll be 3,000-5,000 miles away from home and a sewing machine for 6 weeks so it'll be put on hold, but the goal is there. 

Its baking one might say. 

New patterns: Collette!

Yea! New Collete! I've been waiting since I saw the blog teasing them a few days ago.

Lily

I love Lily! The fit is wonderful on the model, I only hope that I can recreate it on my body. It has pockets and cute pockets at that with the lovely contrast fabric. Thank goodness its not strapless. Also lovely in one fabric all the way through. Lily is my favorite of the summer line.

Hazel

I like the V-shaped seam on the bodice and the way its played with pattern, but the gathered skirt is not made for my body.

Iris

A nice pair of shorts. Not too short and a side zip, yea side zip! Love the option of side buttons, gives a cute little sailor look. If I need shorts, its between Collette and Pattern Runway and its going to be a brutal fight.

New McCalls Patterns: Summer 2012

McCalls released its new Summer 2012 sewing patterns last week and I have opinions.

So Fashion Star. I got through 30 min before I turned it off and vowed never to watch it again. It was worthless. The 'designs', a word I use loosely here, were extremely basic lines jazzed up in prints and colors. When prints and colors are the only thing making your clothes special, its not good (please not, not saying print and colors can't make something special, but when its your only trick, you're a one trick pony). Its supposedly a design competition. There was none of that. Also what was up with the motorcycles?

Low and behold, to counter Simplicity's relationship with Project Runway, McCalls launched Fashion Star patterns.

McCalls 6556

Ok, a basic tank dress with a giant sleeve. I like how in the line drawings, if the model put her arm down, her giant sleeve would drag on the floor. Fashion Star, the dress that mops!

McCalls 6554 

 Fashion Star, the sundress whose neckline can double as a summer turtleneck.

McCalls 6552

Fashion Star, we rip off all the shitty Project Runway muumuu's that keep winning challenges. Michael C. should sue.

McCalls 6553

Fashion Star, help me, I like this one. But only because I worship this woman:

Pretty close copy, eh?

Belt it to not look pregnant with a soccer team.

McCalls 6570

Cute skirt, cheap looking shirt. Pretty sure these patterns already exist.

McCalls 6551

Trendy dress with the colorblocking. Unfortunately, only flattering to a few figures. McCalls embraces patterns that require very little shaping, usually just bags with with zazz. Also, what's up with the McCalls company, Vogue included, having the models pose to hide the clothes? Just have them stand there like the Vitruvian Man, its what we need.

McCalls 6560

Kinda the same as 6554, right?

 McCalls 6557

What does this dress look like? I don't know. Except maybe what it looks like in a windstorm.

McCalls 6555

Ugliest thing in the world. At least the other muumuu has some sex appeal. Also concerned that the model got 5 months pregnant in the course of 3 minutes of modeling. 

McCalls 6559

Crazy simple tank dress. The racer back is better than the not.

Also, do this look...

 

 a lot like this?

McCalls 6569

Super cute! And it comes in cup sizes!