New Patterns: Vogue Spring 2015

I'm traveling for work and have long, lonely nights to myself. Judgements!

This batch of patterns is kinda dishwater dull, but there are two that I really like.

Vogue 1440

This yoke gives me life! I'm making this with a white front/yoke and a black back to really emphasize that point. I could leave the rest of the pieces though.

Vogue 1437

Love this whole outfit...almost. That top is fantastic, I adore loosely draped tops and with a wrap too, sign me up! This skirt is fantastic, color block, slit, weird-ass ties. Wait, weird-ass ties? Fiance thinks they look like the orthodox jewish string-things and I think they look like they could blind a child standing close if you turn around too fast. I know fringe is a trend this season, but you need more than two 'fringes' to really count as fringe.

So if I buy anything from Vogue, I'll buy these two.

Onto the, 'let's just say these aren't for me.'

Vogue 1435

She's so pretending she's Nicole Kidman right now.

Vogue 1432

Whoa, gotta respect that seaming detail, musta been a bitch of a pattern to draft. Have fun adjusting this for different bust sizes.

Vogue 1434

For all the fanfare Vogue was making about Mizrahi's first pattern in a long time, this is bad. So so so juvenile. Photoshop out the model and put in a child and this is a lovely Easter dress. But for an adult women who is legally allowed to consume alcohol, this is sad. Also after Mizrahi's 'is the moon a planet or a star' moronic drivel, I can't even.

Vogue 9096

For the distinguished karate madame.

Vogue 1431

This looks like a fitted drum major uniform, I should know, I was a drum major. Band nerd forever!

Vogue 9077

I actually really like this one, but only with the contrasting bands, without them its just a shirt-dress. The extension of the constrast into the collar makes this really special. I have a feeling this is a ripoff though, it looks familiar.

Vogue 9091

Incontrovertible proof that Vogue follows Lily Sage & Co. (I love her fearless style)

Vogue 1442

She got her dress caught in her underwear and they forgot to photoshop it out! Heads are going to roll in the Vogue Pattern offices.

Vogue 1438

Back that thing up, gurl.

Vogue 1433

Ok so I have this weird thing where a movie comes out and I could swear up and down that it came out a year or two ago. I can remember the red carpet and the commercials for it, but people just call me crazy. This dress has already come out right? Fabric and all? I'm from the future, shhhh

Vogue 1436

So boring I'm falling asleep.

Goodnight!

New McCalls Patterns: Spring 2015

I'm kinda over dresses at the moment, so these aren't setting me on fire or anything.

McCalls 7088

I love Trace Reese, but I don't love boob conforming seams. I saw a dress very similar to this recently where the underboob region was white and the upperboob was black. Like a big white arrow pointing up. With just one fabric, you don't see the seam so that's ok, but what's the point? Does it give a better fit?

McCalls 7081

Candy striper! My god that is some impressive stripe matching. STANDING OVATION!

McCalls 7084

Same pose, its Swirly Striped Skirt Spring! I like this one better, its more flattering. Now I know that the pattern companies, McCalls especially, paying attention to the blog world. So its nice (and smart commercially) that they are following what the audience wants, ie. shirt dresses, all the shirtdresses! Then again, with that information they do some not so nice stuff too (see below).

McCalls 7100

Hey, its the Rigel...

McCalls 7080

With some faded plaid and floppy boots, this would be perfect for a Nirvana concert. Wait, what year is it?

McCalls 7090

Stop making patterns for this dress, please!

McCalls 7082

Shit just got real.

McCalls 7089

Whoa, that's a turnaround! I'm trying to understand the story here and what I'm getting is that her dog ran away and all she's got left is his leash. She wants to run after him, but her damn legs won't break free from their cage. We all know where the dog went.

I used to be a doginatrix and now look at me.

McCalls 7087

1960's Betty Rubble. That collar is too damn big.

McCalls 7086

My word that's unflattering. Why do you have to pose like this if you're in something 50's inspired. Were all women then walking with pointed toes and horizontal hands?

McCalls 7094

I was looking into hacking the Archer in something like this, but maybe I'm just a trend hag. Thoughts?

McCalls 7099

Well isn't someone off to a fabulous day of stripping down to nothing in a filthy public bathroom.

McCalls 7093

Go ahead and put some thing in the pocket of a crepe de Chine, charmeuse, chiffon, or georgette t-shirt, we'll see how practical it is then.

McCalls 7097

Have a happy Swirly Striped Skirt Spring!

New Patterns: Butterick Winter 2014

I wasn't going to post these until I say B6151 so let's start with that one.

Butterick 6151

OH

MY

GOD

The neck brace, the straps, what the hell is that zipper thing? This pattern seems to think that boobs are dangerous velociraptors plotting to break out of their cage and devour their handlers. Why else would someone think that four straps or two layers of zips are necessary?

Butterick 6128

Butterick's trying to get some of that wrap dress fairy dust that is floating around the blogosphere. The magic of the wrap are the curves it gives (or enhances on) the body but this one isn't giving her anything. The maxi-wrap is a bit first-lady (not Michelle, she's too cool) -esque.

Butterick 6127

Comeon, just call it the Princess Kate line.

AKA, the knock-off of LK Bennett line. 

Butterick 6131

Heavens me that's cheap. Please don't put your bridesmaid in this.

Butterick 6143

Hips gathers? Maybe if you're a twiggy twig-person.

Butterick 6130

Just stop making jumpsuit patterns. Its been done and done better.

New Vogue Patterns: Winter/Holiday 2014

Let's start with the good.

Vogue 1424

I absolutely adore this dress! I love the strappies, those pleats (swoon!), and even the color. With all the seams it seems fairly straightforward how to adjust for a larger bust too! I know the strappies have gotten mixed reviews, but I'm firmly team strappies.

Vogue 1421

Oh man alive I love that seaming! Other than the weird, fun seaming, that's a pretty simple dress. I want to make it in scuba something fierce!

Okay, the others:

Vogue 1423

Ok, I'm off team strappies. If you left off that underlayer, this would be a very chic dress for your next BDSM soiree.

Vogue 1426

I want to pull her bodice up for her. That's some super dated stuff guys.

Vogue 1428

Helen Mirren would look hot in this. No joke, Helen Mirren is hot.

Vogue 1425

Anyone else want to cut this off and make a top? Cause I do, bad. Otherwise its a fairly boring shape.

Vogue 1427

She's going out on the town with ruffle-lady. They're on the prowl!

Vogue 1422

Again a pretty, if dull dress. Gorgeous fabric. If Michelle Obama hasn't worn this yet, she ought to.

Vogu 1420

I do love a good wrap bodice, even a mock-wrap is ok. The finishing on this dress looks like it was finger-pressed and stapled. This style needs to be sharp.

Vogue 9046

I don't even know about this one. I love and hate the slight 40's-50's style. Removing the sleeves might bring this towards a more modern aesthetic. The pleats are beautiful, but there are so many it looks like a corset. The v-neck is very elegant.

New McCalls Patterns: Fall 2014

AKA when women are encouraged by the powers that be to embrace their inner catholic school girl. Hit me baby one more time...

McCalls 7022

I like how they choose the longest skirt to showcase here, trying to minimize the Britney comparisons. I see right through you McCalls!!! Its Britney, bitch.

McCalls 7014

Its nice when a school offers you more than one uniform option. The school of McCalls. Want to hear a funny (sad) story? My middle school required uniforms in the form of shirts. While my mom and I were waiting to buy my clothes for the next two years, the oh so well organized school ran out of all shirts, but white, X-large, short sleeve. So my uniform for a few months of middle school hell were two X-large white shirts, one with a huge margarine stain on the front. When black, medium shirts were finally offered again it was a revelation. I wonder why I wasn't cool...

McCalls 7025

Designer Joi! I can't not say this without using jazz hands. Designer Joi! Those fabrics (together, apart?) are hideous. Its already a coat with a lot of stuff, it didn't need 1980's fabrics too.

McCalls 7017

Designer Joi! The ruffle on that shirt is ugly and the bellybutton slit in the shirt is making me twitch. Designer Joi doens't have a singular POV, does she? Those are two very different patterns.

McCalls 7016

Giant shawl collars look so dated, not my style.

McCalls 7021

Hey, that's cute! The beads certainly make it, but its a good base! The peplum isn't too puffy, this is great!

It even comes with a mullet peplum, that's fine. That's all, right?

Oh no, they added another peplum layer, not a great decision. That is the end right? Right?!?!

Oh dear god the peplums are taking over....

Really why stop here McCalls. Why not 4,5,6? Can't look much uglier than this and the peplum pieces are likely just rectangles.

McCalls 7018

The collar's kind of sad-droopy, but I'd wear this. I like ruched sleeves and tabs as long as the buttons are functional so I can iron the creases out. Wait, the sleeve is gathered in the tab in this picture and not in the line drawing. I hate when the actual garment in the envelope isn't what is on the envelope. Anyone else run into this? Simplicity seems to be the biggest violator of my trust.

McCalls 7026

This is an exercise outfit, I get that. Is that thing on the back supposed to be wings and a homage to Hermes? Running fast and stuff. Because that would be kind of cute. If not, what were they thinking? Also, lace butt ruffle, no. Just no.

My favorite pattern in this run is McCalls 7019. When I first saw it in the thumbnail, well, see for youself.

Oh that's cute, McCalls is making skating costumes.

Oh dear, those are pants.