Saturday, December 15, 2012

New McCalls Patterns: Spring 2013

The first out of the gate is...McCalls!

McCalls 6698
Fashion Star: 80's fuchsia realness. They emphasize that this is a totally customizable pattern, you can have 1, 2, or 3 tiers and, wait for it, you can change the fabric for each tier. I didn't know that was allowed. I am apparently in a snarky mood.

McCalls 6701
I had to put this one second because its the same dress, they ripped off the top two tiers and kept the shoes. I kinda like the idea of a bright, happy visible lining, but that's just tacky.

Also, you have to check out the rest of the shots for this pattern. There are 4 pattern variations, but McCalls shows 5, FIVE separate (real) images of the same variation and none of the others. Does anyone else think that's incredibly stupid?

McCalls 6699
K, McCalls is really pushing the visible lining thing. I like the cup size options and the simple shape. I find the Fashion Star ideas for pattern changes remarkably insulting. You can shorten this! Or lengthen this! Or put it over a shirt! Let me add some. You can wear it under a shirt! You can cut the top off! You can even choose to not make this!

McCalls 6700
This is how Blake Lively poses on the red carpet. We can see your legs honey, they're lovely. The line drawing for this is nice, I love wrap silhouettes and a knit!

McCalls 6707
And...I'm in love. I've been lusting after pants like these for a while. Just have to make sure the fit is awesome and then I'll churn out 400 of these. Once in a while, those Fashion Star people don't piss me off.

McCalls 6694
That is art and I think I've seen it in Vogue.

McCalls 6695
I've seen girls wearing skirts this short on bikes and it never ends well unless you're a perve.

The pleats with the elastic look bulky and unflattering like a towel wrapped around the model. Not cute.

McCalls 6696
I love this style of dress so I'm no use here.

McCalls 6697
What's up with the bike poses? I want one of the models to grab it over her heard and roar like a lion into the camera, that would make as much sense as what's going on here. Also, there seems to be a different bike in every shot so why did they choose they super sporty bike for the maxidress pattern?

Ok, the actual pattern. That's ugly.

McCalls 6713
I chose this picture because we can actually see the details of the pattern, but I'll ruin the live action shot for you, she's on a bike. Like she actually knows how to ride it this time, but still on a bike. I find gathered shoulders make me look extremely bulked up, but for those with feminine lady shoulders, unlike my big man shoulders, lovely pattern.

McCalls 6702
Oh no, she's fallen and can't get up (maybe she shouldn't have worn stilettos on a bike). Good thing she was wearing a parachute to soften the fall. This pattern has a lot of volume, gathered shoulders, arms, and back so maybe the stiff fabric was not the way to go. Crinkled, unflattering mess!

McCalls 6703
Deflated balloon or belly button after you loose 250 lbs.

McCalls 6704
In all seriousness, please wear your helmet, it really does save lives.

This looks like it came from Forever 21 in 2002. The pattern variations are even worse.

McCalls 6705
This looks terrible. The lace isn't even symmetric around the bust and looks like torn paper and unless lining was added, there is some serious side boobage happening.

I love this! Wait, that's the same pattern!!! Love the idea of a print and a solid and the way its cutout. Can anyone else see a teddy bear holding its arms out though? I think I would continue the solid all the way to the hem, that would be a bit more flattering. And I LOVE the contrasting neck and armhole binding!

McCalls 6708

Everyone needs a cardigan and this one looks fine if a little flimsy.

McCalls 6706
Love the band options on this skirt, but I'm pretty wary of stiff fabric and pleated skirts. Oh, the memory!

McCalls has officially failed in how to ride a bike.

McCalls 6712
That sunhat looking thing is supposed to be a skirt. All that seaming looks like a real bitch for not a lot of reward.

McCall 6711


  1. your reviews never fail to amuse me...
    if McCalls paid more than £1 to the photographer/stlist team they employyed they deserve a refund!

  2. You literally cannot ride a bike in any of those outfits.

  3. Hilarious - you made my day! I am laughing long after I read your critiques !

    1. Glad my snarkiness can lighten your day :)

  4. I made the bike crash blouse. Actually not too bad. I didn’t crash but did recreate the scene for Instagram @emmascraggles